I just threw up on my dentist
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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