I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize