i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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