It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize