she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
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I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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