You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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