dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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