Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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