Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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