She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize