ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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