no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize