It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize