Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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