how can u be prego again
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I am available for nakedness
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize