I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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