i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize