I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
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When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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