Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize