just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize