haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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