We're facebook friends in real life
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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