Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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