i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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