420 ftw
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i came on her dog
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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