i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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