Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
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I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
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laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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