I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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