When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
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Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
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I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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