They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Come on in and take your pants off
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