I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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