i need an iv and a liver transplant
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize