So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize