You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize