Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize