Where did you get a picture of my penis
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize