And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize