bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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