Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize