Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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