Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
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Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
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I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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