I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize