They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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