I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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