also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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