Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
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I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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