suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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