I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize