You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize