Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The Olympian is in my bed
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